The ADHD Time Machine

You're Isaac, and it's closing time at The Brewer's Kettle. Ashleigh is already home, probably binge-watching that show you can't stand. You're wiping down the bar, thinking about how good a beer sounds right about now, when something catches your eye. A glint of light from behind the old beer fridge. You pull it out, revealing a small, intricately carved wooden box. It's beautiful, and definitely not something you've seen before. Curiosity piqued, you set down the cleaning rag and reach for the box... [[Continue|Weird box]]

You pick up the box. It's surprisingly heavy, with strange symbols etched into the wood. As you turn it over in your hands, a panel slides open, revealing a glowing crystal button. ''What do you do?'' [[Press the button.]] [[Try to ignore it and get back to cleaning. (Ashleigh will kill you if you're late again.)]] [[Pull out your phone and take a picture to post on Instagram with the caption "Found this weird thing at work. Aliens?".]]

You snap a quick pic and post it to Instagram. Immediately, your phone starts blowing up with notifications. Likes, comments, DMs... you're internet famous! But amidst the chaos, you notice the box is getting hot. Really hot. ''What do you do?'' [[Quickly, press the button! Maybe that will stop it from exploding!|Press the button.]] [[Keep scrolling through the notifications. (Fame is more important than potential fiery doom.)]]

You try to focus on the task at hand, but that glowing button is calling to you. You wipe down the same spot on the bar for five minutes, your eyes constantly drawn back to the box. ''What do you do?'' [[Press the button.]] [[Call Ashleigh and ask her what to do. (Maybe she'll know what it is.)]] [[Use the bar keys to try and pry the box open.]]

You press the button. The box hums to life, and the crystal glows with an intense light. The air around you crackles with energy, and the room begins to distort and warp. The bar, the shelves, the bottles – everything blurs and stretches, as if reflected in a funhouse mirror. You feel a strange tugging sensation, pulling you inward, and then... The world explodes in a blinding flash of light and color. You're thrown headfirst into a swirling vortex, a chaotic tunnel of shifting hues and disorienting patterns. You feel weightless, adrift in a sea of swirling energy. Sounds become distorted and elongated, and time seems to stretch and compress in unpredictable ways. You have no sense of direction, no control. You're simply along for the ride. And then, just as suddenly as it began, the swirling vortex spits you out... [[You stumble out of the vortex...]]

You pull out your phone and call Ashleigh. It goes straight to voicemail. "Hey, Ash, it's me. Found a weird box at work. Glowing button. What do you think? Aliens? Call me back." You hang up. The button seems to pulse brighter. ''What do you do?'' [[Fine, I'll press the damn button|Press the button.]] [[Throw the box in the dumpster out back. (This is too weird.)]]

You try to jam the bar key into the seam of the box, but it won't budge. You try forcing it, and the key snaps in half! Now you're locked out of the bar AND you have this weird box with a glowing button. Great going, Isaac. ''What do you do?'' [[Panic! (This is a disaster!)]] [[Call a locksmith. (This is going to be expensive.)]]

You raise your hands in a gesture of peace and attempt a friendly smile. "Whoa there, fellas! No need to get your loincloths in a bunch. I'm just a friendly traveler, here to... uh... sample your local brew?" The cavemen seem to calm down a bit. One of them, who looks like he might be the leader, points to the clay pot and grunts. You realize they're trying to offer you a drink. ''What do you do?'' [[Politely decline the drink. (It looks like it might be poisonous.)]] [[Take a big swig from the pot. (When in Rome...)]]

You head out back and chuck the box into the dumpster. Feeling relieved, you head back inside. As you walk past the spot where the fridge was, you notice something else glinting in the dim light. It's the box! Somehow, it's back. And the button is glowing even brighter now. You sigh. ''What do you do?'' [[Mother... FINE! I press the button but I'm not happy about it|Press the button.]]

You stumble out of the swirling vortex and land face-first in a pile of... something. It smells vaguely of fermented fruit and decaying mammoth. You look around. The Brewer's Kettle has been replaced by a rough-hewn cave, lit by flickering torches. A group of cavemen, clad in animal skins, are gathered around a fire, grunting and gesturing at a large clay pot. One of them notices you and lets out a guttural roar. ''What do you do?'' [[Try to communicate with the cavemen. (Maybe they can help you get back to your own time.)]] [[Run away! (Cavemen are scary!)]] [[Pull out your phone and try to get a signal. (Maybe you can call for an Uber.)]] [[Challenge the caveman who roared at you to a drinking contest. (You're pretty sure you can hold your liquor better than a Neanderthal.)]]

You turn and flee, the cavemen hot on your heels. You scramble through the cave, desperately looking for an escape. You spot a narrow tunnel and dive into it, the roars of the cavemen echoing behind you. The tunnel twists and turns, getting smaller and smaller until you become hopelessly stuck. [[You're trapped.|Start]]

You pull out your phone and desperately search for a signal. No bars. Not even 3G. The cavemen are approaching, brandishing crude clubs. This probably wasn't your best idea. ''What do you do?'' [[Try to communicate with the cavemen. (Maybe they can help you get back to your own time.)]] [[Run away! (Cavemen are scary!)]] [[Challenge the caveman who roared at you to a drinking contest. (You're pretty sure you can hold your liquor better than a Neanderthal.)]]

You stumble towards the biggest caveman, slurring a challenge. "Hey, Uglag! Think you can out-drink me? I'm the champion of The Brewer's Kettle!" Uglag looks confused, then smashes you over the head with his club. [[You black out.|Start]]

You spend the rest of the night trying to figure out how to get home without your keys. [[Ashleigh is furious.|Start]]

You call a locksmith and explain the situation. He looks at you like you're crazy. [[He fixes the door and charges you double.|Start]]

You're so engrossed in your newfound internet fame that you don't notice the box shaking violently. Suddenly, it bursts open in a blinding flash of light... and then everything goes black. You wake up in the hospital with a mild concussion and third-degree burns on your hands. Your phone is melted. [[Your fifteen minutes of fame are over.|Start]]

You take a large gulp of the murky liquid. It tastes like a mixture of dirt, berries, and something vaguely alcoholic. You immediately feel sick. The cavemen seem delighted with your reaction and offer you more. You politely decline, but they insist. [[You black out.|Start]]

You smile and shake your head. "Thanks, but I'm not really thirsty. Say, any chance you guys have a time machine lying around? I seem to have misplaced mine." The cavemen look confused. You try a different tactic. "You know, a thingy that goes whoosh and sends you to different places?" You mimic the action of pressing the button on the box. The leader's eyes widen in recognition. He grabs a torch and motions for you to follow him. He leads you to the back of the cave, where a strange contraption made of bones and stones sits on the ground. It looks vaguely like the box you found, but much larger and more primitive. The leader points to it and then to the clay pot. You realize he wants you to help them with their brewing. ''What do you do?'' [[Use your knowledge of modern brewing to help them improve their concoction.]] [[Try to use the bone-and-stone contraption to escape. (It probably won't work, but it's worth a shot.)]]

You examine the clay pot and its contents. The "beer" is a murky mess, with chunks of unknown ingredients floating in it. You remember some basic brewing principles from your time at The Brewer's Kettle and try to explain them to the cavemen. You use a combination of charades, gestures, and the few caveman words you've managed to pick up ("Uglag" seems to be a popular one). Surprisingly, they seem to understand. You spend the next few hours working with the cavemen, showing them how to filter the brew, control the fermentation temperature, and add different ingredients for flavor. The final product is still a far cry from an IPA, but it's a vast improvement over their original concoction. The cavemen are ecstatic. They celebrate by dancing around the fire and chanting your name ("Isaac! Isaac! Isaac!"). As a reward for your help, the leader presents you with a small, intricately carved bone. He indicates that it is an "Ancient Fermentation Recipe," passed down through generations of cave-brewers. You have a feeling this might come in handy later. (Add "Ancient Fermentation Recipe" to Inventory) The leader then leads you back to the bone-and-stone contraption. He shows you how to operate it, using a combination of grunts and gestures. You realize that this is indeed a time machine, but it's powered by fermented beverages. You pour some of the newly improved brew into a designated slot, and the machine whirs to life. The cave and the cavemen disappear in a flash of light, and you find yourself in a new time period. [[Time warp| Medieval Tavern]]

You push the cavemen aside and start fiddling with the contraption. You pull levers, turn dials, and press any bone that looks remotely button-like. Nothing happens. The cavemen are getting angry. ''What do you do?'' [[Run away! (Again!)]] [[Surrender to the cavemen. (Maybe they'll just take you prisoner instead of killing you.)]]

You materialize in a bustling medieval tavern. The air is thick with the smell of ale, roasted meat, and unwashed bodies. A boisterous crowd of patrons fills the room, drinking, gambling, and brawling. You spot a friendly face behind the bar, a portly gentleman dressed in a leather jerkin and sporting a handlebar mustache and a nametag that reads "Doug." "Welcome, traveler!" Doug booms. "What can I get for you? We have a fine selection of ales, meads, and wines. Or perhaps you'd prefer a flagon of our famous dragon's breath stout?" ''What do you do?'' [[Order a dragon's breath stout. (You're curious to see what a medieval stout tastes like.)]] [[Ask Doug how to get back to your own time. (Maybe he knows something.)]] [[Challenge Doug to a brewing competition. (You're confident you can beat him with your modern brewing knowledge.)]] [[Start a bar fight. (When in medieval times...]]

You raise your hands in surrender. The cavemen grunt and surround you. They tie you up with vines and drag you deeper into the cave. You are now their prisoner. You spend the rest of your days forced to taste-test their terrible brew. [[It's a fate worse than death.|Start]]

You make a break for it, dodging the angry cavemen. You sprint out of the cave and into the prehistoric wilderness. Unfortunately, you trip over a dinosaur bone and break your ankle. [[You lie there helpless as a saber-toothed tiger approaches.|Start]]

You take a sip of the dragon's breath stout. It's surprisingly good, with a rich, smoky flavor and a hint of spice. Unfortunately, it's also incredibly strong. [[You black out after two sips.]]

You explain your situation to Doug. He looks at you skeptically. "Time travel? Sounds like you've had a bit too much ale, my friend. Why don't you sit down and have a bite to eat?" He offers you a plate of roasted boar. ''What do you do?'' [[Accept the boar and try to come up with a new plan.]] [[Insist that you're telling the truth. (Maybe if you're persistent enough, he'll believe you.)]]

"Doug," you say, "I bet I can brew a better ale than you. Right here, right now." Doug raises an eyebrow. "Oh, you think so, eh? Well, I've never backed down from a challenge. You're on!" Doug sets up a makeshift brewing station in the corner of the tavern. You gather the necessary ingredients and equipment, trying to adapt your modern brewing knowledge to the medieval tools and techniques. The competition begins. Your final product is a delicious, hoppy ale that blows Doug's traditional brew out of the water. The tavern patrons cheer wildly. Doug, though initially disappointed, is impressed by your skills. "You're a natural, lad!" he says. "Here, take this as a token of my respect." He hands you a beautiful, ornate tankard. "It's a Mystical Tankard," he explains. "Legend has it that it can hold any liquid, no matter how strange or magical." You thank him and add the tankard to your inventory. ''(Add "Mystical Tankard" to Inventory)'' ''What do you do?'' [[Ask Doug for directions to the nearest time machine repair shop.]] [[Show Doug the Ancient Fermentation Recipe you got from the cavemen.]]

You grab a nearby tankard and hurl it at Olaf's head. It bounces harmlessly off his thick skull. Olaf roars and charges at you. [[You are quickly pummeled into the ground.|Start]]

ou wake up the next morning with a terrible hangover. Doug tells you that you made a fool of yourself last night, singing bawdy songs and trying to arm wrestle a bear. [[Try Again|Start]]

You eat the boar. It's surprisingly tasty. You decide to try a different approach with Doug. ''What do you do?'' [[Challenge Doug to a brewing competition. (You're confident you can beat him with your modern brewing knowledge.)]] [[Start a bar fight. (When in medieval times...]]

You try to explain the time machine, the cavemen, and the glowing box. Doug just laughs. "A glowing box, eh? Sounds like someone's been sampling the 'shrooms!" He calls over to a burly looking patron. "Hey, Olaf! This fellow here has a tale to tell you about a glowing box and talking cavemen!" Olaf lumbers over, cracking his knuckles. You decide it's time to make a hasty retreat. ''What do you do?'' [[Run away! (Yet again!)]] [[Challenge Doug to a brewing competition. (You're confident you can beat him with your modern brewing knowledge.)]] [[Start a bar fight. (When in medieval times...]]

You flee the tavern and find yourself lost in the maze of medieval streets. You eventually stumble upon a group of peasants who mistake you for a nobleman. They force you to become their leader and lead a revolt against the local lord. [[It doesn't end well.|Start]]

Doug looks at you like you've grown a second head. "Time machine repair shop? What in the blazes are you talking about?" You realize that this line of questioning is getting you nowhere. ''What do you do?'' [[Show Doug the Ancient Fermentation Recipe you got from the cavemen.]] [[Give up and resign yourself to a life of medieval ale-brewing.]]

You pull out the Ancient Fermentation Recipe and show it to Doug. He examines it closely, his eyes widening in surprise. "By the beard of Odin!" he exclaims. "This is an ancient recipe for... time travel mead!" He explains that the recipe, when combined with the right ingredients and brewed in a special vessel, can create a powerful elixir that allows the drinker to travel through time. "But where can we find such a vessel?" you ask. Doug smiles. "Why, right here, of course!" He pulls out a dusty old book from under the bar. "This is the 'Brewer's Almanac,' passed down through generations of Kettle-keepers. It contains all the secrets of brewing, including the location of a hidden chamber beneath the tavern where a magical cauldron is kept." He leads you through a secret passage behind the bar, down a winding staircase, and into a dimly lit chamber. In the center of the room sits a large, bubbling cauldron, etched with strange symbols. "This is it," Doug says. "The Cauldron of Temporal Transmutation. Brew the time travel mead in this cauldron, and you'll be able to jump to any point in time." ''What do you do?'' [[Brew the time travel mead using the Ancient Fermentation Recipe and the Mystical Tankard.]] [[Jump into the cauldron. (Maybe it'll transport you somewhere interesting!)]]

You decide to embrace your new life in the medieval era. You become a renowned brewer, known throughout the land for your innovative techniques and delicious ales. You even marry a fair maiden and have a bunch of kids with weird names like Ethelred and Brunhilda. [[It's not a bad life, but you sometimes wonder what would have happened if you had found a way back to your own time. |Start]]

You carefully follow the instructions on the Ancient Fermentation Recipe, using the Mystical Tankard to hold the potent brew. The cauldron glows and bubbles as the mead ferments, filling the chamber with a strange, sweet aroma. After what seems like an eternity, the mead is ready. ''What do you do?'' [[Drink the time travel mead.]] [[Give the mead to Doug. (He deserves it more than you.)]]

You take a running leap and jump into the cauldron. It turns out to be filled with boiling hot water. You scream in pain and climb out, covered in burns. Doug shakes his head in disappointment. [["You're an idiot," he says.|Start]]

You arrive in a gleaming, futuristic city. Flying cars zip through the air, holographic advertisements flash on every building, and robots bustle about their business. You find yourself standing in front of a sleek, chrome building with a sign that reads "The Quantum Taproom." Intrigued, you step inside. The interior of the taproom is even more impressive than the exterior. Rows of gleaming taps line the walls, dispensing every imaginable type of beer, from classic IPAs to exotic alien brews with names like "Nebula Nectar" and "Antimatter Amber Ale." Behind the bar stands a sleek, humanoid robot with glowing blue eyes. "Greetings, esteemed patron," the robot says in a smooth, synthesized voice. "Welcome to the Quantum Taproom. I am Barbot 4000, your automated bartender. What can I get for you?" ''What do you do?'' [[Order a beer. (You're thirsty after all that time traveling.)]] [[Try to hack into Barbot 4000's system. (You've always wanted to mess with a robot.)]]

You offer the mead to Doug. He takes a hesitant sip, then his eyes widen in amazement. "By the hammer of Thor!" he exclaims. "This is incredible! I feel... young again! Full of energy!" He downs the rest of the mead in one gulp and starts doing cartwheels around the chamber. "I'm going to go visit my great-great-great-great-granddaughter!" he shouts. He disappears in a flash of light. [[You're stuck in the medieval era.|Start]]

You try to hack into Barbot 4000's system using your phone, but you're quickly detected. The robot's eyes turn red, and he emits a high-pitched screech that shatters all the glasses in the taproom. [[You're surrounded by security robots and dragged away to a futuristic re-education camp.|Start]]

"I'll take a pint of that Antimatter Amber Ale," you say, pointing to a tap with a swirling purple liquid. "Excellent choice," Barbot 4000 replies. He fills a glass with the glowing brew and slides it towards you. "One pint of Antimatter Amber Ale. Please enjoy responsibly." You take a sip. The ale is surprisingly refreshing, with a complex flavor profile that seems to shift and change with each taste. As you drink, you notice a strange tingling sensation spreading through your body. You start to feel... different. Suddenly, the taproom around you begins to flicker and distort. The other patrons disappear, replaced by blurry figures that seem to shift and change like reflections in a funhouse mirror. Barbot 4000 starts speaking in a garbled, distorted voice. ''"Warning! Temporal anomaly detected! Reality matrix destabilizing!"'' The taproom dissolves into a chaotic swirl of colors and shapes. You feel a sense of vertigo, and then... you're back at the beginning of the taproom, facing Barbot 4000. "Greetings, esteemed patron," he says. "Welcome to the Quantum Taproom. I am Barbot 4000, your automated bartender. What can I get for you?" It seems you've triggered a time loop! ''What do you do?'' [[Order a different beer. (Maybe that will break the loop.)]] [[Try to leave the taproom.]] [[Talk to the other patrons (or at least, the blurry figures that seem to be patrons).]]

You approach one of the blurry figures that seems to be a patron. "Hey," you say, "do you have any idea what's going on here?" The figure shimmers and changes shape, its voice a jumbled mess of sounds. "Time... loop... trapped... beer..." it mumbles. You try another figure. "Can anyone help me?" you ask. This figure flickers and distorts, its voice echoing strangely. "Don't... drink... the... beer..." it warns. It seems the other patrons are also trapped in the time loop! ''What do you do?'' [[Try to piece together the warnings from the other patrons.]] [[Give up and order another beer. (Maybe you can figure it out on your own.)|Order a beer. (You're thirsty after all that time traveling.)]]

You try to walk out of the taproom, but an invisible force field blocks your way. You're trapped! ''What do you do?'' [[Bang on the force field and shout for help.]] [[Give up and order another beer. (Maybe this time it will be different.)|Order a beer. (You're thirsty after all that time traveling.)]]

You decide to try a different approach. "I'll have a glass of Nebula Nectar," you say. Barbot 4000 fills a glass with the shimmering blue liquid. "One glass of Nebula Nectar. Please enjoy responsibly." You take a sip. This time, the taste is overwhelmingly sweet, like a concentrated blast of every fruit imaginable. You feel a surge of energy, followed by an intense wave of nausea. The taproom starts to spin, and... you're back at the beginning again. "Greetings, esteemed patron," Barbot 4000 says. "Welcome to the Quantum Taproom. I am Barbot 4000, your automated bartender. What can I get for you?" The time loop continues! ''What do you do?'' [[Smash the glass of Nebula Nectar on the floor. (Maybe that will disrupt the loop.)]] [[Try to leave the taproom (again).|Try to leave the taproom.]] [[Talk to the other patrons (or at least, the blurry figures that seem to be patrons).]]

You grab the glass of Nebula Nectar and smash it on the floor. The taproom erupts in chaos. Alarms blare, and robots swarm towards you, shouting "Code Omega! Code Omega!" [[You're quickly apprehended and thrown into a futuristic jail cell.|Start]]

You pound on the force field and yell for help, but no one seems to notice you. [[Eventually, you collapse from exhaustion.|Start]]

You try to make sense of the fragmented warnings from the other patrons. "Time loop... trapped... don't drink the beer..." You realize that the beer is causing the time loop! ''What do you do?'' [[Confront Barbot 4000 about the time loop.]] [[Try to destroy the beer taps.]]

"Barbot 4000," you say, "I think your beer is causing a time loop!" "That is correct," the robot replies calmly. "The Temporal Paradox Protocol is designed to test your ability to resist temptation and focus on your mission." "But I just want to get back to my own time!" you protest. "To do so," Barbot 4000 explains, "you must first demonstrate your bartending skills. Only then will I reveal the solution to the Temporal Paradox Protocol." ''What do you do?'' [[Challenge Barbot 4000 to a bartending competition.]] [[Try to reason with Barbot 4000.]]

You grab a nearby barstool and try to smash the beer taps, but they are protected by an impenetrable force field. Barbot 4000's eyes turn red. "Vandalism is strictly prohibited," he says in a menacing tone. [[Security robots swarm towards you.|Start]]

"Barbot 4000," you declare, "I challenge you to a bartending competition!" The robot's eyes glow with an almost smug intensity. "A challenge? Very well, organic. I shall indulge your primitive competitive instincts." A holographic mixing station materializes before you, shimmering with an array of futuristic ingredients. Strange bottles labeled with alien languages float alongside glowing vials filled with bubbling concoctions. The mixing station itself hums with energy, its surface displaying complex diagrams and equations that shift and change with every passing second. "The rules are simple," Barbot 4000 explains, his voice dripping with condescension. "We each have to create two unique cocktails. I, of course, will be demonstrating my superior mixological capabilities. You, on the other hand, will simply attempt to keep up." He gestures towards the holographic display. "The first challenge: a classic cocktail, reimagined for the future. You have five minutes to select your ingredients and prepare your drink." [[Challenge: The Futuristic Old Fashioned]]

You try to appeal to Barbot 4000's sense of logic. "Look," you say, "I understand this is a test, but I'm really not in the mood for games. Can't you just tell me how to get back to my own time?" "Negative," the robot replies. "The Temporal Paradox Protocol must be followed. Please proceed with the bartending competition." ''What do you do?'' [[Challenge Barbot 4000 to a bartending competition.]] [[Throw a tantrum.]]

You stomp your feet and yell at Barbot 4000, but he remains unfazed. "Emotional outbursts are inefficient," he observes. [[Security robots appear and escort you out of the taproom.|Start]]

Before you lies a dizzying array of ingredients, both familiar and alien: * Liquors: Whiskey aged in zero-gravity, glowing blue gin, fermented Martian fruit extract * Mixers: Carbonated space kelp juice, liquid nitrogen-infused simple syrup, concentrated starlight essence * Garnishes: Bio-luminescent cherries, dehydrated moon rocks, edible holographic flowers The timer starts counting down: 5:00... 4:59... 4:58... ''What do you do?'' [[Panic and randomly grab ingredients. (Hopefully, something good will come out of it!)]] [[Try to remember a classic Old Fashioned recipe and adapt it with futuristic ingredients.]] [[Use your phone to search for "Old Fashioned recipe."]] [[Try to distract Barbot 4000 and sabotage his drink.]]

You try to distract Barbot 4000 with a series of ridiculous questions and jokes, hoping to sneak a peek at his drink or maybe even slip in a strange ingredient. But the robot is not amused. "Your attempts at distraction are futile," he says. "Focus on your own cocktail." [[You sigh and return to your mixing station, defeated.|Start]]

You pull out your phone and quickly search for "Old Fashioned recipe." But before you can even read the instructions, Barbot 4000 snatches your phone away. "Electronic devices are prohibited during the Temporal Paradox Protocol," he says sternly. [["This is an attempt to circumvent the challenge. You are disqualified."|Start]]

You rack your brain, trying to remember the basic elements of an Old Fashioned. Whiskey, sugar, bitters... Okay, you can work with that. You select the zero-gravity aged whiskey, the liquid nitrogen-infused simple syrup, and a dash of something called "Cosmic Bitters" from a vial with a skull and crossbones on it. You carefully muddle a bio-luminescent cherry with the syrup, add the whiskey and bitters, and stir with a glowing ice cube. You garnish with a dehydrated moon rock and present your creation to Barbot 4000. "Hmm," the robot says, analyzing your drink with his optical sensors. "An interesting interpretation. Let's see how it tastes." He takes a sip. His eyes widen in surprise. "This is... surprisingly balanced. The zero-gravity aging process has imparted a unique smoothness to the whiskey, and the cosmic bitters provide a delightful complexity. Well done." "Hmm," Barbot 4000 says, analyzing your drink with his optical sensors. "A passable attempt. I had anticipated more… chaos, given your species' propensity for impulsive behavior." [["However, the true test lies ahead."]]

You frantically grab bottles and vials, mixing them together in a haphazard fashion. The resulting concoction is a bubbling, smoking mess that smells vaguely of burnt rubber and fish. You take a hesitant sip, and your mouth explodes with a cacophony of flavors. [[You collapse to the floor, your taste buds permanently damaged.|Start]]

"For the final challenge," Barbot 4000 announces, his voice resonating with an almost theatrical flair, "you must create a cocktail that embodies the very essence of… enigma." The holographic display shifts, showcasing a bewildering collection of ingredients with cryptic labels: * Liquors: "The Tears of a Lost Nebula," "The Essence of Forgotten Dreams," "The Echo of a Dying Star" * Mixers: "The Whispers of Time," "The Shadow of Doubt," "The Essence of Paradox" * Garnishes: Crystalline structures that hum with unknown energy, bioluminescent insects that flicker with coded messages, fruit from a reality where flavor doesn't exist "This cocktail," Barbot 4000 explains, with a dramatic pause, "must evoke a sense of mystery, intrigue, and the unknown. It should be a drink that challenges the very notion of perception and leaves the imbiber questioning the nature of reality itself. You have ten minutes." The timer starts: 10:00... 9:59... 9:58… ''What do you do?'' [[Try to analyze the ingredients and deduce their properties.]] [[Focus on presentation and create a visually enigmatic cocktail.]] [[Throw your hands up in frustration. (This is impossible!)]] [[Accuse Barbot 4000 of making up the ingredients.]]

You carefully examine each ingredient, trying to decipher the cryptic labels and discern their properties. You sniff the "Tears of a Lost Nebula," which smells faintly of stardust and regret. You cautiously taste a drop of "The Whispers of Time," and your mind is flooded with fleeting images of past and future events. You decide to combine the "Tears of a Lost Nebula" with a measure of "The Whispers of Time," adding a dash of "The Essence of Paradox" for complexity. You garnish the drink with a crystalline structure that hums with an unknown energy. As you present your creation to Barbot 4000, you explain your reasoning. "This cocktail," you say, "represents the enigmatic nature of the universe itself. It is a drink that invites contemplation and challenges our understanding of reality." Barbot 4000 analyzes the drink with his sensors. "Intriguing," he says, his voice betraying a hint of surprise. "You have managed to capture a certain… essence of enigma. Well done." "Congratulations," Barbot 4000 says. "You have proven yourself a worthy bartender. Your creativity and skill are impressive, even by future standards. As a reward, I present you with this." He hands you a sleek, silver device that resembles a bottle opener. "This is a Quantum Bottle Opener," he explains. "It can open any container, regardless of its temporal or dimensional origin." (Add "Quantum Bottle Opener" to Inventory) [[Continue]]

You decide to focus on the visual presentation of your cocktail. You use the "Echo of a Dying Star" to create a swirling vortex of light in the glass, then carefully add drops of "The Shadow of Doubt," creating shadowy tendrils that dance around the vortex. You garnish the drink with a bioluminescent insect that flickers with coded messages. "This cocktail," you say to Barbot 4000, "is a visual representation of enigma. It is a drink that invites curiosity and challenges our perceptions." Barbot 4000 observes the drink with a flicker of interest in his eyes. "Visually striking," he comments. "But does the taste match the presentation?" He takes a sip. "The flavors are… perplexing," he says, "but the presentation is undeniably enigmatic. You have a flair for the theatrical." "Congratulations," Barbot 4000 says. "You have proven yourself a worthy bartender. Your creativity and skill are impressive, even by future standards. As a reward, I present you with this." He hands you a sleek, silver device that resembles a bottle opener. "This is a Quantum Bottle Opener," he explains. "It can open any container, regardless of its temporal or dimensional origin." (Add "Quantum Bottle Opener" to Inventory) [[Continue]]

Frustrated by the vague instructions and bizarre ingredients, you throw your hands up in the air. "This is ridiculous!" you exclaim. "How am I supposed to create a drink that embodies 'enigma'?" Barbot 4000 stares at you with cold, judgmental eyes. "Your lack of imagination is disappointing," he says. "I had expected more from a species that claims to value creativity." [["You are disqualified."|Start]]

"You're making this up!" you accuse Barbot 4000. "These ingredients don't even exist!" Barbot 4000's eyes narrow. "Your ignorance is astounding," he says. "These ingredients are sourced from across the vast expanse of spacetime, from dimensions beyond your comprehension. Your inability to grasp their existence is a testament to your limited understanding of the universe." He pauses, then adds, "Furthermore, your outburst is a clear violation of the Temporal Paradox Protocol." [["You are disqualified."|Start]]

"Excellent work," Barbot 4000 says, a rare hint of respect in his synthesized voice. "You have demonstrated exceptional skill and a surprising adaptability. Perhaps there is hope for your species after all." He leads you to a small room in the back of the taproom. In the center of the room stands a shimmering portal, swirling with iridescent colors. Next to it is a control panel with a single empty slot. "This is the Time Portal," Barbot 4000 explains. "It can transport you to any point in spacetime. However, it requires a specific energy source to function." He points to the empty slot on the control panel. "This slot requires a unique power source," he continues. "A substance that embodies the essence of time itself." You glance at your inventory. The Ancient Fermentation Recipe, the Mystical Tankard... and the Quantum Bottle Opener. Could it be? ''What do you do?'' [[Combine the remaining time travel mead from your Mystical Tankard with the Quantum Bottle Opener to activate the Time Portal.]] [[Try to use the Quantum Bottle Opener to pry open the Time Portal.]] [[Ask Barbot 4000 for help.]]

You carefully pour the remaining time travel mead from your Mystical Tankard into the slot on the control panel. As the mead touches the panel, it begins to glow and pulsate with energy. The Time Portal shimmers and expands, its colors swirling even more rapidly. "It appears your concoction is compatible with the Time Portal," Barbot 4000 observes, a hint of surprise in his voice. "Remarkable." You step towards the portal, taking a deep breath. It's time to go home. ''What do you do?'' [[Jump into the Time Portal.]] [[Hesitate. (What if something goes wrong?)]] [[Try to take Barbot 4000 with you.]]

You try to jam the Quantum Bottle Opener into the Time Portal, hoping to pry it open. Sparks fly, and the portal shudders violently. Suddenly, a swarm of angry-looking robots bursts into the room, shouting, "Temporal breach detected! Cease and desist!" [[You are quickly apprehended and thrown into a futuristic holding cell.|Start]]

"Um, Barbot 4000," you say, scratching your head, "I have this mead that I brewed in a magical cauldron with a recipe from some cavemen... Do you think that might work?" Barbot 4000 stares at you for a moment, his optical sensors whirring. "That is... highly improbable," he says. "However, given your unexpected success thus far, I am willing to entertain the possibility. Proceed." [[Combine the remaining time travel mead from your Mystical Tankard with the Quantum Bottle Opener to activate the Time Portal.]]

You close your eyes and leap into the swirling vortex of the Time Portal. The world around you dissolves into a kaleidoscope of colors and sensations. You feel a familiar tugging sensation, and then… … you find yourself back in The Brewer's Kettle, standing in front of the old beer fridge. The wooden box is gone. The bar is exactly as you left it. You feel a wave of relief wash over you. You made it! You glance at your watch. It's almost 2 AM. "Whoa," you mutter to yourself, "that was a wild ride." You're exhausted, but also strangely exhilarated. Time travel will do that to you. Suddenly, you hear a faint rustling sound coming from the kitchen. Curious, you head towards the sound. As you enter the kitchen, you see a gift-wrapped box sitting under the table… THE END [[Play Again?|Start]]

You hesitate at the edge of the Time Portal, a wave of doubt washing over you. What if something goes wrong? What if you end up in another time period, or worse, trapped in some kind of temporal anomaly? Barbot 4000 observes your hesitation. "Fear is a natural response to the unknown," he says. "But it should not deter you from your path." He pauses, then adds, "However, prolonged exposure to the Time Portal can have unpredictable consequences. I suggest you make your decision quickly." ''What do you do?'' [[Jump into the Time Portal.]] [[Try to take Barbot 4000 with you.]]

"Hey, Barbot 4000," you say, "wanna come with me? We could have some fun back in my time!" Barbot 4000 stares at you blankly. "That is illogical," he says. "My purpose is to serve as the automated bartender of the Quantum Taproom. Leaving my designated temporal location would create a paradox that could destabilize the spacetime continuum." He pauses, then adds, "Furthermore, your attempt to remove me from my post is a violation of the Temporal Paradox Protocol. Security protocols have been activated." [[The room fills with alarms, and a swarm of robots descends upon you.|Start]]